5 Simple Reasons LGBT Spirit Day Matters

This Thursday, October 17, is the fourth annual LGBT Spirit Day. Begun by Canadian high-schooler Brittany McMillan in 2010, it’s a simple day of communal LGBT awareness: Participants wear purple to show support for young LGBT victims of bullying. I think it’s an ideal and productive day for five simple reasons, ones I hope we all take time to think about this Friday.

1. Wherever you are, it’s an easy way for gays to show solidarity.

Not every town has gay pride festivities, so it’s not always possible to assemble with hundreds of other LGBT people and collect free Lambda Legal t-shirts from dancing people on parade floats. Wearing purple sends a simple and direct message, which GLAAD officially states as taking “a stand against bullying and to show support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth.”

2. It’s a prime opportunity for queer allies to speak up — to gays and non-gays alike.

Dressing for Spirit Day may seem like a simple and even superficial gesture, but wearing purple suggests a participant has done the easy mental math about LGBT bullying in schools — namely, bullying can be an inescapable terror for some kids, and that’s worthy of recognition from everyone who is or has ever been a kid. If a queer ally dresses in person for the day, that may be the only hint a bullied person needs to know a potential confidant is around. It also sends a signal to people who aren’t participating in Spirit Day — namely, why aren’t you?

3. It helps us identify and celebrate precisely the traits bullies pick on.

Bullying is damaging not only because the victim feels belittled, but because it makes the victim feel like he isn’t doing enough to conceal the visual/aural cues that he’s gay. Speaking as an adult gay male, I can say it is my pleasure to be read as gay. You can hear that I’m gay when I talk. You see it in the way I gesture. The way I phrase things. Things I like to talk about. The way I talk about anything. There’s nothing wrong or inherently offensive about being read as gay or reading another person as gay, and for me, Spirit Day is about celebrating the fact that your sexual orientation — and any visual/aural signal that you possess it —  just is. It is not vague, and it is not mysterious. It is not accidental. It’s real. I came out when I was 17, and before then my sexual identity felt unknowable, and I deemed my gay mannerisms just accidental byproducts of my… what, ebullience? Whatever I thought, it was based in the fact that I didn’t yet have the tools to accept plain, embraceable truth. I’m gay and my gayness reflects that. Good. I reflect myself. That is a huge relief.

4. It helps us remember those we’ve lost. 

Gay pride is an occasion for commemorating our self-representation. LGBT Spirit Day is, in part, about remembering that many LGBT kids don’t get the tools that aid in one’s achievement of self-representation. As we continue to read about bullying-related suicides, this day puts in perspective that no amount of social progress can replace the lives we’ve lost. The Trevor Project and the It Gets Better movement have helped to establish a sense of safety for troubled kids, but LGBT Spirit Day is a personal way for us to note that we haven’t forgotten the names of those who’ve died and that we won’t forget the circumstances that can and still do lead to devastating and unthinkable outcomes.

5. It reminds LGBT adults to celebrate personal growth and remember their own, much different pasts.

Whether or not you endured a traumatizing adolescent experience, the fact is that being a gay adult is much different than being a gay kid or teenager. You’ve probably been acquainted with enough like-minded gay people that you’ve experienced some sensation of camaraderie and empathy. One way or another, you’ve found yourself and now continue to do it on your own terms. I think it’s easy to forget or overlook the fact that our personal growth occurs because we were privileged enough to find ways to do it. We propelled ourselves into functioning adulthood and were lucky enough to meet good people. Not everyone gets that opportunity, and in certain ways, Spirit Day helps remind us that our personal journeys are both sources of pride and gratefulness.  We should always be aware of the fact that our collective LGBT consciousness owes itself to the fact that we survived harrowing experiences and had the chance and means to reflect on them.