Ding Dong, the Duck is Dead! Duck Dynasty Show Canceled Due to Lack of Ticket Sales!

Looks like hatred is a hard sell these days. While some vehemently support thehomophobic, Islamophobic, and downright creepy comments regarding marrying children made by Phil Robertson, the rest of us see the fauxbillies of Duck Dynasty for what they are: a representation of horrid and outdated ideals that have no business in a civilized and modern society. What’s next? Refusing to marry whites and blacks? Oh…wait…Phil Robertson is a racist, too.

While his sons have spoken up in support of both his homophobic comments and his suggestion that men marry a teenager, the show’s ratings speak for what the rest of us think–and they’re hitting rock bottom.

Things just keep getting worse for the Duck crew. A Duck Dynasty live show that was scheduled in Springfield, Missouri has been canceled due to “unforeseen circumstances.” What were those circumstances? Well, a devastating lack of interest, of course! Simply put, the Duck bigots’ appearance failed to generate enough ticket sales to justify the appearance.

Tickets were to be sold for $37, $50, and $58 a pop, according to FreakOutNation. The cast was to talk about ““living the American dream as they operate a thriving business while still staying true to their family values and modest lifestyle.”

Recently, the Lansing, Michigan Board of Water and Light elected to cancel a Duck dynasty lookalike contest because it would likely offend people.

“The decision was made in light of controversial remarks by a Duck Dynasty cast member against the LGBT community,” the utility company said in a statement. “The BWL is committed to diversity and respect community differences, and we regret if the contest offended anyone.”

It looks like the Duck Dynasty crew’s days are numbered! Happy, Happy, Happy!