GAY SON DISOWNED BY HIS BAPTIST PARENTS FINDS A NEW FAMILY IN HIS FRATERNITY BROTHERS

After a son was disowned by his Baptist parents for “choosing the gay lifestyle instead of turning to God,” he found a new family in his fraternity brothers who comforted him with their love and support.

“I came out to my family today and it did not go over well,” Tim shared online. “They’re very baptist and feel my choice of sexuality is am abomination. They took my car and phone and told me I can never come see them. I have twin little sisters who are 4 and now it looks like I’m going to miss seeing them grow up. My frat brothers have been a solace for me with emotional support though it’s still a pretty fresh wound.”

“My fraternity is being so great right now that I’m realizing that I do have a bigger family than I ever thought.”

Tim agreed to share his story exclusively with The Gaily Grind in hopes of encouraging “all of us who are afraid to tell people who you truly are. There will be losses, sometimes devastating. But don’t be afraid. There will always be someone to support you.”

About a year ago, my parents found me flirting with a couple guys on twitter and confronted me about it. I confessed and they gave me a choice of keeping the gay lifestyle or reforming to straight and keeping my family. I must admit that I caved and tried to change my sexuality. Over several months, I realized that just wasn’t possible. However, I didn’t have the guts to tell my family so it was back to hiding my true self like I had for the past 7 years.

Last Thursday, my mom called me and said I needed to start thinking about transferring my insurance and phone charge into my name as they had found out I had been drinking (I drink relatively little, only been drunk once) and were not going to be funding my dangerous activities. She told me I had til Sunday to decide. So Sunday I knew a reckoning was coming. I came back to the house after church and they confronted me about my drinking. I admitted that I had been going against them. My mom looked me in the eye and asked “Have you gone back to homosexuality?” And looking at her I realized I couldn’t hide any more. I was too tired. I told her yes and she just hung her head. They then requested that I give them my keys and credit card that was in their name. All of those I was okay with. Then they asked for my phone which I bought myself. That hurt but at that point they were both crying and I couldn’t refuse. My mom brought it to the kitchen and dropped it into the trash. 

They pleaded with me to come back to God and not to go down this road of sin. They told me that if I chose this then I would no longer be welcome to see any of my family, including my 4 year old twin baby sisters. I didn’t even get to tell them goodbye. They also brought down my two other younger sisters who had been listening upstairs. Both of them were in tears when they stood in front of me. My mom told me I had to tell them with my own mouth what I am. I told them “I’ve been drinking and I’m gay. I’m sorry.” 

After almost throwing up twice but not shedding a tear, I was taken to a theater where I would meet a friend to take me back to my university. My dad and I sat in the car looking at the theater. He pleaded with me one last time as I opened the door not to go. To come back. I told him, “There had to be something that would make this pain worth it. I knew now that they loved their God more than you love me.” When he nodded his head I knew where I stood. I got out of the car and told him that I was sorry for causing him and my family so much pain. He said “I forgive you.” And I shut the door.

Upon arriving back to my dorm room, I logged into our GroupMe chat and sent a message asking for someone to come to my dorm room. I usually don’t ask any one for anything. Gotta be strong ya know. Be the big brother. People knew something was up. I told them that I had been disowned but not what for. Within 30 seconds I had 3 guys on the way to my dorm. Staring at the screen, seeing guys rushing to my aid without any idea what I had done… That’s the first time that day I started crying. And I wailed.. I cried and cried until I hear them knock and them I wiped my face and let them in. 

We talked for a while, me telling them my story and them supporting my decision. Two of the guys are new members who have only known me for about 3 weeks. The other guy is an out gay brother of mine that I’ve known for about a year. Their unconditional love and support was so enriching and loving that I couldn’t hardly understand it. I mean, these guys have only known me for a month or so. How could they be offering me a place to stay or an extra phone when my family had just taken those things from me. 

That night we had a chapter meeting. The guys that weren’t able to come to my dorm asked how I was and if I was okay. I’m not exactly the straightest guy in the frat. Everyone had their suspicions. When guys came and asked me one-on-one I told them and every one of them was supportive. 

Then later that night I posted an official message about what I had gone through that day and that I was gay. The response was overwhelming supportive and loving.