A Closer Look at Discrimination Within Assisted Living Facilities

LGBT discrimination doesn't stop as someone ages, and no one knows this better than Bruce Williams.

The senior services coordinator at the Pride Center in Wilton Manors, Williams began working on a project to compile LGBT-friendly assisted living facilities about five years ago. He would call and knock on doors to get more information on each location, and the results were "scary," he said.

While some were open to participating in the project, others would hang up on his calls or give him "lame excuses" as to why he couldn't come inside. Just a few weeks ago, while he was speaking with a regional marketer from a large, long-term care corporation of homes, her demeanor immediately changed when she saw his business card and where he worked.

"All of a sudden there was a wall of ice between us. I tried to pitch the [Pride Center senior expo] to see if they would want to represent their facilities there and her response was, 'Well, I only have one facility that might possibly be interested in that.'"

According to the LGBT Aging Center, there are 1.5 million LGBT people older than 65 in the country. By 2030, the number is expected to double. Because LGBT seniors are more likely to be single, and without someone to care for them in old age, more are looking to find an assisted living facility to live in. However, many such facilities are not welcoming.

Williams says that he consistently receives calls once or twice a month with complaints from seniors looking for an assisted living facility. Sometimes the calls are from outside of South Florida or even the state. A gay man said he struggled to visit his partner and bring him food in hospice. A gay senior wanted to host an LGBT meet-up at his facility, and the idea was shot down.

"They would tolerate his orientation, but they were not going to tolerate any open advertising of any kind of activities," Williams said.

This is a generation that experienced immense discrimination in their youth or perhaps did not even come out until recently. With that, the problem of LGBT senior housing becomes twofold: Not only are some facilities giving this population the cold shoulder, but the fearful senior community also tends to force themselves back into the closet. This might also explain why many LGBT-exclusive facilities have not been successful, aging LGBT people are just not ready.

"We need to make changes, but those changes should not be the responsibility of the people that need the care right now. The changes need to be brought about by those of us [younger LGBT adults] who are not yet ready for it. You can't fight that battle from within; it's just too much," Williams said.

Perhaps one of the most successful facilities to the LGBT community has been Forest Trace in Lauderhill. Owner Stanley Rosenthal made bold moves by including same-sex couples in their marketing materials and ensuring that staff was trained to handle LGBT residents coming in.

"We wanted to show that we are gay-friendly and doing everything possible to reach out to and support the gay community," Rosenthal told SFGN in a previous story.

Other facilities have teamed up with the Pride Center to help host its Coffee and Conversation programming, a weekly senior discussion group that draws about 150 LGBT seniors every week. Representatives will bring coffee and snacks and mingle with participants.

"They put their money where their mouth is," Williams said. "There's always a chance that may be done just to fill beds, but you can weed that out kind of in a hurry just by visiting and talking and getting a feel for the individual."

However, even with open-minded management, should someone step down from their position, they could quickly be replaced by someone who is not in favor of LGBT residents. To avoid this, it's important for facilities to make a company-wide decision to be accepting of the LGBT community and aware of laws, to work to make accommodations within their facility and to publicize their stance so seniors know they are safe before they walk through the front doors, Williams said.

"The facilities take the lead in something like that. If they absolutely make it known and have policies to go ahead and back that up, that they are tolerant, that they are accepting, then the future resident has less to be concerned about that," Williams said. "They don't have to go in wondering."

VA Tea Partier Tells Elderly Woman Asking Him To Back Medicaid Expansion: ‘YOU Are The Problem’

Tea Party Virginia Delegate Tag Greason cares about his constituents. In fact, when they say something with which he disagrees, like ‘As an elderly woman, I think you should support Medicaid expansion,’ he cares so much he feels the need to set them straight–as Loudoun County resident Susan Merk discovered when she e-mailed him on March 28 when he told her she is ‘the problem’ and called her ‘intellectually lazy’ for supporting something that would greatly benefit her.

Merk voiced her support for the Medicaid Expansion. “It’s imperative that federal Medicaid aid is passing the [Virginia] budget,” Merk wrote.

Greason respectfully disagreed…well, maybe not respectfully, but he did disagree. Her elected official mansplained to her that, “ObamaCare has already proven to be inefficient, costly, and an utter disaster,” and that “Medicaid is one of the largest and fastest-growing parts” of the budget even without expansion.

Merk shot back, telling him that, “This reply is pitiful – it’s nothing but partisan rhetoric, false accusations and invalid excuses.” She added, “I will be sure to vote you out the next time you’re up for election.”

This enraged the Tea Partier so much that he decided to truly exercise outreach to the elderly. He responded, Pitiful because I am willing to enter a dialogue with you? All you liberals are the same. As soon as someone doesn’t agree with you, you shut down communication, call the other side names, take your ball and go home. I understand and am saddened by this approach at the federal level … but your reaction below is THE problem. I did not have to write you back … but I did. I think discussing differences is the only way to solve problems … you would rather leap right to the insults. How intellectually lazy are you? You are the problem. Good luck to you. You can not insult your way to ‘victory.’ If you are not willing to have a civil discussion, please do not write me again. It is a waste of my time. Thanks, Tag.”

Merk, understandably, was offended by her elected official’s actions. “I shouldn’t write to him again because I am wasting his time?” Merk told the Loudoun Times. “How many emails do you think he gets per day from people who disagree with him just like I did? It’s his job to listen to the people he represents.” She called his conduct “unprofessional” and “almost unreal.”

He attempted to walk back his remarks on Monday, saying he “must have been having  a very bad day,” though one must wonder how “bad” his day must have been to assail an elderly woman as he did.

The number of deaths attributable to the lack of the Medicaid expansion is between 266 and 987. If Medicaid expansion were to pass, it would lead to an additional 291,325 insured people.

Greason barely held on to his seat for his third term, winning election by only 500 votes in 2013. We look forward to his forced retirement the next time voters hit the polls.