Frat Boy Dishes On What It’s Like To Be Gay And Greek

“People assume that gay individuals would be completely disinterested in the prospect of joining a fraternity,” Kohlman Harshbarger (pictured) writes in a new op-ed published by The Odyssey. “This isn’t exactly a warped perspective, but it certainly isn’t one of crystalline clarity either.”

Harshbarger is a Marketing and Graphic design major at the University of Minnesota. He is also the current social chair for his fraternity.

He acknowledges the “hyper-masculine, weight-lifting, polo-wearing, country music-listening” reputations that many frat houses and their occupants have.

“They like their beer and their women equally. Both a lot,” he says. “Nowhere in this list do you find Beyoncé or skinny jeans.”

But, he says, there still plenty of gay guys amidst all the rampant heterosexuality.

“[Gay people] join fraternities for the same reason that straight people do,” Harshbarger writes. “For me, an out-of-state student (1,406 miles out of state to be exact), my fraternity is like my family away from home. It’s a support system of 107 best friends that are just as ready to shotgun a brew with me at 8 a.m. on gameday as they are to sit and listen to me lament about how shitty my day was. Surprisingly, brotherhood isn’t contingent upon sexual orientation!”

Maybe not in Harshbarger’s case. But there have been plenty of stories about fraternities rejecting pledges for being gay.

In October, the Lambda Phi Epsilon fraternity at the University of Texas was suspended after being accused of withholding membership from a rushee simply because he was gay. And last year, the Kappa Alpha Psi fraternity at Morgan State University in Baltimore, Maryland was put on probationfor rejecting an applicant on the basis of his sexual orientation.

LSU Fraternity Apologizes for Michael Sam Gay Sex Joke Banner

A fraternity at Louisiana State University has apologized for flying a game-day banner outside its house last weekend that read “Michael isn’t the only Sam getting the D tonight.” The school was playing Sam Houston State University at the time.

The Times-Picayune reports:

The Delta Kappa Epsilon's Zeta Zeta chapter displayed the message, which some deemed offensive, on what appeared to be a bed sheet secured over the entrance of the fraternity house Saturday (Sept. 6). The apology letter says the chapter will stop hanging signs in front of the DKE house "indefinitely." 

"Zeta Zeta is a chapter full of rich traditions, one of them being our game day banners," the fraternity wrote. 

"Though satire is sometimes the goal, crossing the line and causing offense to others is never the intent," the letter from the DKEs, addressed to LSU President and Chancellor F. King Alexander, said. "We truly apologize to you and all other members of the LSU community who have had to deal with the effects of this banner."

LSU, which asked the banner be taken down, said it did not condone the fraternity’s “hurtful actions” and the school’s Dean of Students K.C. White plans on meeting with interested parties to further discuss the incident.

Unfortunately, this is only the latest in a long line of offensive banners that the fraternity has flown in past years. You can check out an LSU Tiger TV report on the current controversy and previous frat banners,

PLEDGE SAYS UCF FRATERNITY REJECTED HIM AFTER DISCOVERING HE'S GAY

A University of Central Student says that the Beta Theta Phi fraternity rejected him after discovering that he is gay, Knight News reports:

In a YouTube video posted last Thursday, sophomore George Dumont claims he was “balled,” or removed, from Beta Theta Pi’s Fall 2013 pledge process five days before initiation because of his sexual orientation. Dumont would later go on to file a report with the UCF Office of Fraternity and Sorority Life detailing the allegations.

In the video, Dumont claims to “have done some digging” and provides a screenshot of a text conversation in what he says is between himself and a brother of Beta Theta Pi.

He asks: “Was there a reason why?”

“They were ‘uncomfortable’ with things that were said. Aka they are homophobic. It’s disgusting and caused a late night meeting with me almost pulling my own pin,” the text reads.

Fraternities and Sororities Take a Stand Against Homophobia

Think fraternities and sororities are hotbeds of hate? This group is working to change that perception.

Get REAL’s mission as a non-profit is to empower university and college students across the country to speak to high school and middle school students about unlearning homophobia and embracing everyone, regardless of difference. We began as a campus organization at Western University (Canada) in 2011, and have since grown to teams at Guelph, Queens, Mount Allison, and Acadia, and we will be at 10 universities/colleges BC all the way out to Halifax in the fall. We have spoken to thousands of students across Ontario and the East Coast.

The videos we produce are a means to that end – we use them to reach new supporters, to garner new school invites, and – most importantly – we use them as learning tools when we run our presentations. Our videos have been used in teachers colleges as far away as Australia, and featured on CTV, Global and Much Music.

That is our primary focus because we believe that in casual, honest personal stories, told by a team of young students both LGBT and straight, is the most effective method when it comes to unlearning homophobia language and attitudes. Get REAL is students teaching students about homophobia and being themselves, and it means a lot to me. I attended an all-guys’ school in grades 7 and 8. I was insecure, ignorant to different types of people – I myself am straight – and had a good sense of humor. This was a bad 

combination for the people around me, who I would tease to no end. As I grew, matured, and had friends and people I respected come out to me, I began to regret my language and my attitude towards others. But I there is no control z button on life.

Our favorite challenge for our video content is to pick people that the general public might dismiss as close-minded and empower then bringing them into the conversation in a positive way. And not with a scripted video, but with their own words, and their own stories (much like one of our high school presentations). We believe that is how a movement grows: breaking down stereotypes and dispelling prejudice bit by bit until a small group of activists translates into a mass movement of the norm. And this in turn requires brave individuals to take the first steps, which is exactly what these fraternity and sorority brothers and sisters did with our project.

For all of us, Get REAL is a means to share these kinds of positive insights with students who remind us of ourselves, helping them avoid mistakes and to provide hope. Whether it is telling a coming out story that provides the kind of hope the speaker couldn’t have foreseen at age 16, or a story of unlearning the kind of meanness and fear of the unknown that I had at 13, Get REAL is our way of helping the younger generation help themselves. And they’re usually miles ahead of where we were, we find. Get REAL would have meant a lot to me back then – it would have blown my small mind, actually. And that is why it means so much to me right now.

We hope that fraternities, sororities, high schools and middle schools across North America join the movement – as many have already – and help us show youth everywhere that the message ‘Love is Love’ can be lived and embodied by truly anybody.

Learn more at:
Web: www.thegetrealmovement.com
Facebook: facebook.com/wegetreal
Instagram & Twitter: @getrealmovement