WHY MARRIAGE MATTERS: Houston mayor's daughter initially refused driver's license, because she has two moms

Houston Mayor Annise Parker

In 2009, residents of Houston, Texas made history when they elected Annise Parker as the first openly gay mayor of Houston. Progress!

Thursday she experienced another first.

Daughter needs drivers test. Has all docs, some in MomA name, some MomK, but w/ birth cert showing both. DPS says can only be from 1 mom!-A

— @AnniseParker

Her daughter went to take her driver's test and she was turned away. Why? Because the Texas Department of Public Safety personnel initially refused to accept her birth certificate as valid:

Turns out the Texas Department of Public Safety won’t honor name changes obtained through same-sex marriages in other states, based on the state’s anti-gay marriage amendment.

Now, it appears the DPS also won’t allow the children of same-sex couples to take a driver’s test if both of their parents names are listed on their birth certificate. It doesn’t even matter if one of their parents is the mayor of Houston.

After Mayor Parker complained on Twitter (and presumably elsewhere), Texas Department of Public Safety officials made a reversal:

Finally! After 3rd trip to DPS w/ different sets of docs in an unnecessary paper chase, last child has her drivers license.-A

— @AnniseParker

Thank you to the DPS clerk & supervisor in the Rosenberg office who took the time to read my daughters documentation & realize it was OK.-A

— @AnniseParker

Glad it all worked out for the Parker family. But, one has to wonder–what if she weren't the mayor? Would DPS officials have reversed their stance so quickly?

In a video made before this incident, see Mayor Annise Parker's message to the LGBT community nationwide, calling for the community to band together and stand up for those oppressed around the world.

One of the best things about the gay community is....

... that we support each other.

Sure we can be at times bitter queens. But come right down to it for the most part we support each other. I think part of it may come from being rejected by our biological families that we are forced to create our own replacement families. We look after each other in ways that may straights will never understand. This video is just one example of that.

U.S. Census Will Finally Count Gay, Lesbian Families

This year, the U.S. Census will start recording households headed by legally married same-sex couples as "families," reports the Charlotte Observer.

Previously, any citizen who indicated they were married to a person of the same gender on their census form would automatically be recategorized as an "unmarried partner." Unmarried partnerships were not tallied as a "family" in official reports of census data. 

This Thursday, the largest census form, the American Community Survey, was released with the changed policy, which was crafted in the wake of the Supreme Court's 2013 decision to strike down part of the Defense of Marriage Act and allow the federal government to recognize legally married same-sex couples, and extend to them the same federal benefits as other married couples.

This is the U.S. Census Bureau's most significant shift in how it counts queer citizens since 1990, when the Bureau first started counting same-sex couples as partnerships.

Supporters of equal marriage consider the step long overdue recognition, reports Pew Research Center. However, the data on same-sex marriage is unlikely to effect overall marriage demographic data for several years due to the relatively small number of citizens who fit the category requirements, Pew researchers noted.

The U.S.'s nearly 252,000 legally married same-sex couples comprise approximately .5 percent of the nation's 56 million married couples. This figure may even be inflated since, according to Pew, many opposite-couples accidentally mark the same-sex partner option when filling out their census forms.

A Lesson in LGBT Etiquette

In Steve Petrow’sWashington Postcolumn titled, Civilities, Petrow answers questions from across on the country on LGBT etiquette.  In his column Petrow addresses everything from coming out, advice for single and married couples, pronoun and word choice and many other LGBT/straight etiquette dilemmas. 

In this week’s column Petrow answered a popular question: Why do gay couples use the terms ‘husband’ and ‘wife,’ rather than ‘partner’?

Petrow, a respected journalist and etiquette professional, answered, “When two men have married, there are two husbands; for women, there are two wives. The bottom line: Don’t ask a same-sex couple who is the ‘husband’ or the ‘wife.’”

Petrow further explained that this language signals that a couple is legally married. It does not define a specific gendered aspect of their relationship.

Why not use the term ‘partner’? Jeff Zarrillo and Paul Katami, plaintiffs in the Supreme Court case that overturned Proposition 8 in California, explained, “Once married, we switched from calling each other ‘partner’ to ‘husband.’ We have personally fought so hard to use that word and it DOES matter. Everyone knows what that word means. It has global recognition. And we love saying it, too!”

Last April journalist and author Steven Petrow started this column in the Washington Post. Petrow, the author of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners,” will address questions about LGBT and straight etiquette in his new column every other Tuesday.  And on alternative Tuesdays join Steven online for his chat — about everything that’s on your mind.

Study: Kids just as happy in non-traditional families

A new British study shows that children are just as happy if they live with a step-parent, a lone parent or two biological parents.

The study found that what mattered to children was how the children were treated by their parents, rather than the number, or type, of parents they had.

The researchers here use “happiness” as an indicator of the children’s sense of well-being.

Investigators reported that they analyzed two sets of data on children from England. One drawn from a study of over 12,000 aged seven, and another set of data taken from a group of children aged 11 to 15.

Of course, this information flies in the faces of those who claim, based on not much actual science, that it’s best for children to be raised by two opposite-sex parents (“traditional families.”)

In a study presented at the annual meeting of the British Sociological Association, researchers presented their work on the data take from these two groups.

Their findings are below:

Honey Maid just did another pro-gay video – this one’s a doozy

Honey Maid, the graham cracker people, made a commercial recently that included modern families, including a gay couple, and an inter-racial family.

Well, they got a few hate-o-grams. But they also got even more nice emails of support.

So Honey Maid decided it was time to do a second video, reaffirming his commitment to diversity. This is it:

Rick Perry Turns Petty

Last month, the Pentagon announced it would extend the same benefits heterosexual couples receive, to same-sex couples with a spouse in the armed services. Today was the first day military members could file for benefits, but according to My San Antonio, the Texas National Guard, Texas Air Guard and Texas State Guard refused to accept claims from members in a same-sex marriage.

My SSA said Alicia Butler, married in California in 2009 to an Iraq veteran, was turned away from the Texas Military Forces headquarters in Austin today when she attempted to apply for benefits. Saying the state’s ban on gay marriage would not allow them to recognize the marriages of same-sex couples, they suggested Alicia, who has a five-month old son, drive almost ninety miles to Fort Hood, which is under federal jurisdiction.

“It’s so petty. It’s not like it’s going to stop us from registering or stop us from marrying. It’s a pointed way of saying, ‘We don’t like you,” Alicia remarked.

The commander of the Texas Military Forces, Major General John Nichols, defied the Pentagon order to begin treating same-sex couples in the same manner the Texas National Guard treats heterosexual couples, saying the Texas Constitution prohibited it. The general said he wouldn’t stop gay and lesbian soldiers from collecting equal benefits, but they would have to apply at a federally run base.

Governor Rick Perry’s office backed the Texas mutiny. A spokesman for the governor said the Texas Military Forces was a state agency, and had to follow Texas law.

A survey done today by the Associated Press found at least thirteen states that do not recognize same-sex marriages were accepting requests for identification cards and benefits as ordered by the Pentagon. Besides Texas, only Mississippi is known to have defied the Pentagon directive.

Zach Wahls, Ella Robinson, and Other Kids with Gay Parents Speak Out in New Video

A new video is out from the Family Equality Council for its program The Outspoken Generation, which empowers young adults with LGBT parents to speak out about their families. These kids are proof that so-called "family values" belong to everyone.

Check it out.

Twins Raised by Two Moms are Key West High School's First Valedictorian and Salutatorian Sisters

Erin and Elizabeth Czerwinski were named Valedictorian and Salutatorian of Key West High School in Florida this month, Freedom to Marry reports. They had grade point averages of 4.713 and 4.746.
They are the school's first sisters to take the double top honor, and they were raised by a lesbian couple.
Now, who was saying gay people can't raise children?

Study: Children of Same-Sex Couples Healthier Than Peers

An in-progress study from Melbourne University in Australia, finds that children with same-gender parents are doing as well or better than the rest of the population on a number of key health indicators.

The information, published in The Age, describes the Australian Study of Child Health in Same-Sex Families as the largest of its kind: 315 gay, lesbian and bisexual parents from around the nation completed the globally-recognized Child Health Questionnaire, which included data on 500 children, up to the age of 17.

An interim report found there was no statistical difference between children of same-sex couples and the rest of the population on indicators including self-esteem, emotional behavior and the amount of time spent with parents.
However, children of same-sex couples scored higher than the national average for overall health and family cohesion, measuring how well the family members get along.

This information seemingly debunks a study conducted by Mark Regenerus from the University of Texas at Austin, which is widely cited by groups who are against LGBT people from becoming parents. As writer Jase Peeples from Advocate.com reports, Regenerus’ study used only 20 cases of same-sex parenting to draw its conclusions, and only two of those examples were instances of both same-sex parents having been in a child’s life for all 18 years of their upbringing.

That hasn’t stopped Regenerus from claiming it’s actually the Australian study that’s wrong. In a guest op-ed in the conservative National Review, he attacks the study today for using emails and other forms of advertising to find the couples who participated in the survey. Regenerus says the 500 couples may participate because they have an agenda to push and that their self-reporting about their own children is biased.

Thus far, organizers of the Australian study have not commented on Regenerus or his research. Instead, they offer some theories as to why they’re seeing these initial positive results. ”Because of the situation that same-sex families find themselves in, they are generally more willing to communicate and approach the issues that any child may face at school, like teasing or bullying,” says lead researcher Dr Simon Crouch in the report. ”This fosters openness and means children tend to be more resilient. That would be our hypothesis.”

LGBT Workers Live and Work Under 'A Broken Bargain'

A landmark new report released today examines how lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) workers might have the same job as a coworker, yet be legally fired, denied equal benefits and be required to pay thousands of dollars more in taxes simply because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

A Broken Bargain: Discrimination, Fewer Benefits and More Taxes for LGBT Workers illustrates how America’s basic bargain—that those who work hard can get ahead—is broken for LGBT workers. The report vividly shows how antiquated and discriminatory laws make it harder for LGBT workers to provide for themselves and their families, and offers detailed policy recommendations for addressing those inequities.

While the nation focuses on recent advances in securing marriage for same-sex couples, 40 years of advocacy have failed to secure federal nondiscrimination protections for LGBT workers. Driven by the need to respond to these public policy failures, this report brings together a coalition of leading LGBT organizations, policy experts and business advocates that includes the Movement Advancement Project (MAP), the Center for American Progress (CAP), and the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), in partnership with Freedom to Work, National Center for Transgender Equality, National Partnership for Women & Families, Out & Equal Workplace Advocates and SEIU—with a foreword by Small Business Majority.

LGBT Workers Are Diverse, Often Parents, and More Likely to Be Poor

A Broken Bargain paints the most complete portrait to date of the LGBT workforce in the U.S., revealing that:

• There are an estimated 5.4 million LGBT workers who live in 93% of all U.S. counties.
• LGBT workers are often parents. More than one-third (37%) of LGBT adults have had a child, making family benefits important to LGBT and non-LGBT workers alike.
• LGBT people are at higher risk of poverty than non-LGBT people. Fifteen percent of transgender people have a household income under $10,000, compared to 4% of the population as a whole. Same-sex couples raising children are more than twice as likely to have household incomes near the poverty line compared to opposite-sex parents (21% vs. 9%).
• LGBT workers are slightly more racially/ethnically diverse than the U.S. population as a whole.

Read more!