Responding
to fresh charges that he knew about the controversial lane closures on
the George Washington Bridge last fall, New Jersey Governor Chris
Christie today asked for the public’s patience while he makes up a new
story.
“Today you have heard some allegations that are shocking and explosive,”
he told reporters at a hastily called press conference. “All I ask is
that the people of the great state of New Jersey give me sufficient time
to invent a new story that explains my way out of this.”
Governor Christie said that he had spent the past few hours in
closed-door meetings trying to come up with a new narrative that
absolves him of any guilt in the bridge scandal, but while he was
definitely denying the allegations, “so far, we don’t have a winner.”
“We’ve been tossing around everything from my not remembering events
correctly to my having a bad reaction to medication,” he said. “We even
floated the idea of my being under too much pressure and having to ‘blow
off steam.’ As I said, we don’t have a winner yet. But I want to
reassure the people of New Jersey that I am working very hard on this.”
The Governor said he understood that “things don’t look very good for me
right now,” but he urged the public against rushing to judgment,
adding, “I will get back to you with a well-crafted and plausible story
as soon as possible.”
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