Hell Freezes Over: Fox ‘News’ Catches War Criminal Dick Cheney Lying About The Torture Report Live on TV!

In the wake of the torture report, Dick Cheney has been pulling double duty — presumably powered by dark, necromantic forces at this point — defending the Bush administration’s actions on the mainstream networks. While most of these interviews are standard Cheney obfuscation, his Fox interview deserves special attention. It appears as if Fox, of all networks, has caught Cheney in the middle of a lie.

Early in the interview, Bret Baier noted that “The Feinstein report suggests that President Bush was not fully briefed on the program and deliberately kept in the dark by the CIA.”

Cheney, however, denied it:

Not true. Read his book. He talks about it extensively in his memoirs. He was, in fact, an integral part of the program. He had to approve it before we went forward …. We did discuss the techniques. There was no effort on our part to keep him from that.” Cheney goes on to declare that “the men and women of the CIA did exactly what we wanted to have them do in terms of taking on this program.

Later in the interview, Baier points towards some of the more depraved tactics used by American’s own Stasi: “At one point, this report describes interrogators pureeing food of one detainee and then serving it in his anus.” Baier then asked “something the agency called ‘rectal rehydration.’ I mean, is that torture?”

I don’t know, dear readers, what else would you call force-feeding an individual through their colon?

Aside from proof that stupid questions can exist, Baier asked if either Bush or Cheney knew about it, and whether or not it was “exactly” what the CIA had been asked to do.

Cheney, however, claimed to have no idea what was going on:

I don’t know anything about that specific instance. I can’t speak to that. I guess the question is, what are you prepared to do to get the truth about future attacks against the United States. Now, that was not one of the authorized or approved techniques. There were 12 of them, as I recall. They were all techniques we used in training on our own people.

So, for those playing along at home, Bush was fully briefed, the CIA did exactly what Bush and Cheney asked — except that suddenly the White House wasn’t fully briefed, the CIA went beyond what was authorized, and used tactics that weren’t “exactly what we wanted to have them do.”

Cheney’s story doesn’t hold. Either the CIA hid the depraved, unapproved torture tactics, or Cheney was perfectly okay with subjecting prisoners to anal rape. Given his response later in the interview, it’s probably the latter:

Bret Baier: Did the ends justify the means? 

Dick Cheney: Absolutely.

You can watch the interview below: