Ten Sneaky Things Christians Say About Gays — And What They REALLY Mean

A lot of Christians, and a lot churches are trying to fool you. But I’m not going to let them. 

They are trying to change what they say, their tactics, their tone. Their marketing and phrases seem to be welcoming to gays. But they have not changed their hearts.

Be very careful.

I will say that many using these phrases are just repeating what they have been taught. They may have what they believe to be ‘good intentions’, but the results can still be so damaging. However, there are others, way too many, who know exactly what they are doing. They are often trying to hide a reparative therapy mindset with these more welcoming statements.

“Welcoming” does NOT always mean “affirming.” And the difference can destroy a gay person, devastate your gay child, and tear apart your family.

This is Rob, Susan’s husband writing today, and I want to help you by letting you know some ‘sneaky’ things you might hear from churches, people on social media, or even Christian friends and family, when they talk about gays.

These things reveal that they are actually not affirming at all.

1. We welcome gays here…. we are all born sinners or we are all born with issues or we are all broken or we live in a fallen world, etc.

CODE: Being gay is sin. Gays are broken and need to be fixed.

2. We will pray for your gay child to be healed.

CODE: Your gay child is sick.

3. We will help your gay child as they deal with their sexual identity issues.

CODE: We don’t believe your child was created and born gay.

4. Many people have been cured of being homosexual.

CODE: First, it’s a disease that needs healing. And these “success stories” are rarely true. They are mostly denial.

5. With God, all things are possible.

CODE: Your prayer and goal should be to change your gay child.

6. It’s okay to be gay, but they just can’t act on it.

CODE: A committed same-sex relationship is sinful behavior.

7. I will pray for you, your child and your family.

CODE: There is something wrong with you, your child and your family because your child is gay.

8. I love gay people and I sit with them and show them what the Bible clearly says about homosexuals.

CODE: The Bible condemns homosexuality.

9. The use of the phrase “homosexual lifestyle.”

CODE: People choose to be gay.

10. We are not here to fight and divide, but to testify to the transforming power of God’s love.

CODE: Someone needs to be transformed and it’s not them.

And a bonus one: “This is not God’s best for your child.

CODE: Gays are second class, “less than” people in God’s eyes.

So now you know.

If you hear anyone say these things, let it be a red flag. Go deeper with that pastor, friend, family member or church. Ask them if they believe homosexuality is a sin. Ask them if they believe that gay people need to be healed or fixed.

If you find yourself in one of these ‘welcoming’ but non-affirming churches, you may feel called to stay – to stand up, share the truth of Jesus, share your heart, and love. Thank you. God bless you and give you strength.

Or you may decide it’s time to leave and find a truly affirming church. Click here to find a list of those churches.

This kind of conditional love and limited acceptance can bring about horrific tragedy in the lives of LGBTQ and their families.

As I said, some of those who say these things do not realize how awful, dangerous, and heart-breaking these statements can be. But some of those who say these things know exactly what they are doing.

In either case, in whatever situation or church we find ourselves in, we now know. I hope we all will shine a light on these lies and stand up for the truth and heart of Jesus and the Gospel.

Enough is enough. It’s time.