A Gay Dad’s Letter to the School Seeking to Censor a Mural of a Kiss

The kiss. For some reason, it, and the experience of giving and getting one, is a completely integrated aspect of the high school experience. While puckers may have been planted in earlier years, it is the high school ones that create the milestones to adulthood, the firsts we will remember our entire lives and in truth, the magic of our adolescence.

One depiction of such a kiss is not folding harmoniously into the tapestry of its school’s life however. It is causing controversy. Kaela Wilton is a 16-year-old student at Onoway Jr/Sr High School in Alberta Canada. As the subject of an art project, approved by her art teacher and the school principal, she depicted two young men in an affectionate kiss. After its unveiling and subsequent complaints, the school covered the mural and would not allow it to be seen.

They are now deliberating on what to do.

For me, I know what to do, I am writing them a letter.

Dear Onoway School Officials,

I am a gay dad, father of two twelve year old boys. Next year, they will be in a school such as yours. I dearly hope that in that school, there is a mural on the wall exactly like the one that Kaela Wilton has created for you.

I write that not as one who is wildly enthusiastic for public displays of affection, nor as one who is anxious to encourage potentially sexually inappropriate behavior amongst teens. I have set standards for my sons in both those areas, and my expectation is they will adhere to them.

Kaela’s mural is a gentle image of young affection and blossoming adulthood. While its depiction might make some feel it makes such gestures too visible, I would remind them that the audience observing it is participating in school dances, first dates, landmark crushes and unforgettable romantic moments on its own. The image from a purely sexual content level, stays appropriately underneath a PG-13 level.

The value of the image far outweighs any offense to even the most over reacting sensibilities.

When I was 17, I buried my instinctual longing for same sex affection deep inside myself. It was taboo to be gay, and even though my feelings told me that was exactly what I was, I consciously suppressed it. I suppressed it to the point where I reached a suicidal crisis point.

I will never forget first witnessing a same sex kiss. I was on a trip into Los Angeles to look at prospective colleges for the future, and parking on the streets of Hollywood. A man was saying goodbye to his partner, and without giving a second thought, gave him a quick affectionate kiss on the mouth.

My reaction? The reaction from a young closeted gay man? I laughed out loud.

It was not a laugh out of derision or condemnation. It was not a laugh because the kiss was funny. It was a laugh because it took me completely off guard, and even though my psyche was bombarded with same sex feelings, seeing it displayed was completely foreign, and I laughed in the shock of it.

The man shot me a look of disgust, and a sense of violation. He was right.

Years later, and on many streets with different relationships with men I wanted to kiss, I experienced karmic retribution for that laugh. As I wished to innocently reach out and kiss the person I was with, the homophobic world around me rose up and invaded my psyche. I could not give my innocent kiss because some would react badly around us, and many would react as I did, never seeing such a gesture before, with laughter. Or I could kiss my man anyway and make a statement, a bold move in the face of a disapproving public. As Panti Bliss pointed out in a recent TED talk, that option is fine for activism, but my desire to kiss was not to activate, it was to be romantic, and so even to take a bold move would ruin my intention. The romance would be gone.

The first kiss I shared with the man was not until I was 21. It was in a disco, hidden down a secret alley, and populated with only gay men. He was a lovely young british man with a perfect smile and a dancing glint in his eye. He put his arms around me, and gently kissed my lips, and no one around us made us feel ashamed. It was a beautiful experience that I deserved. It is an experience your gay students deserve, and they should not have to retreat to a secret and hidden enclave in which to experience it.

Whether they are LGBT or not, your students have been inundated with opposite sex kisses their entire lives. If not played out in front of them in person, such events are common place on all available media from commercials including children’s programming. They have likely not seen even a single same sex display of romantic expression.

This mural can change that. For your students who have same sex attractions boiling up within them, such an affirmation can be life saving. It gives them and others the opportunity to witness something warm, yet rare, as normal and accepted. It allows them to embrace the parts of themselves they have kept secret, and removes it as a dark excuse for self-harm.

For those who are shocked at the display, they can react to the unfeeling stone wall, so that in the future, when they are in front of real honest to goodness humans they can be un-shocked and react with appropriate support, or have rehearsed how to keep their disdain to themselves.

Ms. Wilton has created something of value, both in its intention and its execution. It should not be kept hidden, but unleashed to inspire hearts, love and acceptance. What could be more important than that?

My sons are on the brink of discovering who they are, and what deep instincts drive them. If they were going to your school and they were finding that their instincts were heterosexual, I am sure they could look around and see plenty of public displays of affection between other guys and their girl friends and feel, “oh yeah, that is me, and what I want.” If it turns out that one of them is actually gay, and he looks around and sees no one, I would hope that he could gaze upon a mural in one of your hallways and think, “Ok, there. There I am…” and walk on to class with hope in his heart, and a dream that a painting on the wall promised him was his to fulfill.

Fox News priest: How can we baptize kids in same-sex families if parents are sinners?

Fox News contributor Father Jonathan Morris on Sunday suggested that baptizing the children of same-sex couple would be difficult because the parents would be raising them in sin.

Last week, bishops rejected a proposal backed by Pope Francis that called on the church to officially “accept and value” homosexuals. But the bishops did agree to include language that said discrimination against LGBT people was “to be avoided.”

“The midterm report made is sound like, by welcoming, we’re changing doctrine,” Morris explained in a Sunday appearance on Fox & Friends. “And what does that mean to welcome? Should we welcome? Of course, we should welcome everyone.”

“I always look at my church when there’s a baby crying, and people are looking back, ‘Oh, get your baby in order.’ The baby is the only innocent voice in this whole church,” the father continued. “We are all sinners. Of course, we should find creative ways to welcome, and not change the Bible. You know, we actually believe in the Bible.”

Morris noted that Pope Francis had even called on the church to go out and find people in “irregular difficult situations,” and welcome them to the church.

Fox News host Anna Kooiman wondered if the pope went “even further to say let’s try to pray the gay away?”

“It is difficult, and I think they’re going to have to make decisions next year of what that means,” Morris replied. “Real practical situations. A gay couple comes in with their child for example to baptize the child. Should the child be baptized? Of course.”

“But every couple, gay straight, when they say we’re baptizing our child, they’re saying, ‘We’re going to raise him in the Catholic faith,’” he pointed out. “And so as a priest, as a minister, how do you deal with that? What does that exactly mean?”

Watch the video below from Fox News’ Fox & Friends, broadcast Oct. 19, 2014.

Here’s How Ricky Martin Flawlessly Answered His Son’s Question: “Was I In Your Belly?”

During a recent interview on Univision radio’s Enrique Santos Show, Puerto Rican pop star Ricky Martin revealed how he handled the inevitable origin questions from his six-year-old twin sons, Valentino and Matteo.

Martin fathered the boys via gestational surrogacy in 2008, and has forever defended the woman who birthed them as an extremely close friend, not a rented womb.

When asked whether he’d reveal the identity of the boys’ birth mother to them, he said that the boys have already started asking about their origins.

He says they once asked: “Papa, was I in your belly?”

He answered: “You were in my heart and you are still in my heart. There is a woman who I adore with all my heart who helped me bring you to this world and she lent me her belly so that you could come and when you were born, she put you in my arms.”

Martin also revealed during the interview that he’s not done having children, and hopes to have “not one, four!” little girls. “I’m just getting started with this fatherhood thing,” he said.

“You Don’t Tell Your Friends You Have Two Dads?!”

Writer Ian Colvin was shocked at the answer his son gave to that simple question, and then he found out the reason why. 

“No.” 

It wasn’t the answer I was expecting. I asked again. “You don’t tell your friends at daycare you have two dads?” 

“No!” 

I had no idea how to respond. Ever since our kids were born, we’ve tried to help them understand and be proud of the fact that their family looks a bit different than others. We’ve read all the bedtime stories: “Daddy, Papa and Me,” “A Tale of Two Dads,” and, of course, “And Tango Makes Three.” We’ve also joined a few gay parent groups so our kids could meet other families like theirs. But with two active kids, we don’t always have time to attend “gay parent” get-togethers. 

I asked one more time. “You don’t?” 

“No!” 

I started to wonder if we’d made a mistake switching our son to a new daycare last fall. It was rated one of the top daycares in the community and right next to the elementary school our kids were going to attend. When we received a call that a spot was available, we had less than 24 hours to decide to take it. Maybe we hadn’t thought it through completely. 

For any family, it’s not easy finding childcare, especially when there are more families than spots. But as two gay dads, we felt an added pressure when searching for the right one. Each daycare we called would put us on the wait list and then explain that we should have contacted them when we were pregnant. Most got the joke when we responded, “Well, with the same man parts – and as much as we tried – we just couldn’t get pregnant.” Others didn’t think we were funny. (We took our name off of those wait lists.) 

Sense of humor aside, in addition to a loving and caring environment, the most important thing was to find a daycare that supported and celebrated all families, and we thought we had found one. 

In fact, just a few months earlier when we asked our son who he wanted to make Mother’s Day gifts at daycare for – maybe one of his grandmas or aunts? – he looked puzzled.

“You guys,” he said. “Don’t you want gifts from me? You’re my parents!” 

Of course we wanted the beautiful clay….somethings. I’m not really sure what they are – tea candle holders, or maybe paperweights? But who cares, because they were made with love from our beautiful boy and he was so proud to give them to his two dads. So I changed my question. “Why don’t you tell your friends at daycare you have two dads?” 

“Silly Daddy,” my son said, smiling and rolling his eyes at me. “They already know I have two dads! Duh!” 

It was as simple as that — of course his friends knew. We are two dads who are there for every school concert and field trip. We are two dads who give extra huge “dad hugs” when we drop our kids off in the morning. We are two dads who high-five our son’s friends when we see them. And when our son says he’s not ready to leave school at the end of the day because he’s having too much fun — we are two dads who join in and play pirates, police chase, or ninja warrior vs. princess unicorn. 

In that moment I realized that my “new normal” was actually our son and his friends’ “normal”. In order to instill a sense of pride in our kids about the fact that they have two dads, we just need to be visible and engaged parents who love and support them. Which we do — more than anything else in this world. It doesn’t mean we’ll stop reading “It’s Okay to be Different.” 

And while I’m hopeful it won’t happen, I do need to prepare myself for the day one of them might come home from school, upset about being teased for having two dads. 

But for now, my husband and I will get ready to host the coolest pirate birthday party for our soon-to-be 5-year-old and 18 of his closest friends — who, silly Daddy, already know our kids have two dads. Duh!

Gay Teen And Mother Come Out To Each Other

Are you ready for this one?

This video is certainly a welcome experience, especially considering some of thehorrific coming out stories we've seen as of late. Though this video isn't new, it's recently making the rounds on the Internet and generating a lot of attention for a very clear reason: after this gay teen comes out to his mother... she comes out to him as well.

"That's very brave of you to tell me that," the boy's mother notes. "Thank you for telling me. It doesn't make me love you any less -- at all. Ok? Your choice is your choice. I accept you however way you are. You're still my boy... Honey, I'm okay with it. Okay? I am okay with it. Can I tell you something too? As you've been so open with me, I'll tell you a secret too... I've had a girlfriend."

Check out the video to hear the rest of the exchange.

Judge: Gay Fathers’ Names Cannot Appear On Their Biological Children’s Birth Certificates

A family court judge in Texas has ruled that two fathers, a legally married same-sex couple who each biologically fathered one of two twin boys, cannot have their names appear on their own children’s birth certificates. The judge handed down his decision just days before Father’s Day. Jason Hanna and Joe Riggs married last year in Washington, D.C. While the federal government recognizes their legal civil marriage, the Lone Star State does not.

Jason and Joe worked with a surrogate mother — not the egg donor — and each parent biologically fathered one of two eggs, making Lucas and Ethan, their twin boys, biological half-brothers. The married couple want to make them their legal children — a desire so basic it would be unquestionable if they were a different-sex couple. But Texas says not only can each father not jointly-adopt their spouse’s biological child, even their own child cannot have their biological father’s name on their birth certificate.

“Fatherhood is absolutely amazing,” Jason told their local Dallas-Fort Worth Fox TV station. “We have been blessed with two healthy little boys.”

“On one hand, it’s a little scary because as of right now, we don’t have full parental rights of our own biological children,” Jason told the Fox station.But not with a state government that understands same-sex couples deserve all the same rights and responsibilities as every other legally-married couple.

“Actually, I think that’s what surprised me the most was a family court,” said Riggs. “I guess I expected them to be looking out for the best interest of our kids, and I felt we walked out that day and it wasn’t in the best interest of our kids.”

“Ultimately, we’re talking about is what’s better: one parent or two parents?” said Riggs. “For me, it’s two parents. It’s a no brainer!”

Fortunately, GLAAD is getting involved.

“Neither Jason nor Joe are listed as fathers on either of their sons’ birth certificates, which the men have not been able to see,” GLAAD’s Alexandra Bolles reports. “They petitioned a judge in their county to add each of their names to their biological sons’ birth certificates and to cross-adopt, or second-parent adopt, the boys. The judge has denied the family both requests.”

In Texas, as in 17 other states, the law is “unclear” as to whether LGBT parents can jointly adopt, meaning such family protections vary from judge to judge or county to county. Because Texas does not recognize Jason and Joe’s marriage, says the couple, second-parent adoption is much harder to achieve.

Gay Dads Show Brain Activity That Resembles Both a Mother and a Father

A new study reveals how the brain activity of mothers and fathers reacts to a baby's cries, and also reveals that gay fathers display brain activity which resembles that of both a mother and a father, Reuters reports:

In the 20 mothers in the study, all primary caregivers, watching their babies triggered heightened activity in the brain's emotion-processing regions, particularly in a structure called the amygdala, which was five times more active than at baseline.

"These are regions that respond unconsciously to signs of an infants' needs, and that derive deep emotional reward from seeing the baby," Feldman said.

For the 21 heterosexual fathers - who were very involved in raising their baby but whose wives took the parenting lead - watching their infant increased activation of cognitive circuits, particularly a structure that interprets a baby's cries and non-verbal cues. It is the region that knows which squirm means "I'm about to scream" and which means "change me."

But studying the brain activity of gay fathers revealed an interesting pattern:

The 48 gay fathers raising children with their husbands seemed to be both mom and dad, brain-wise. Their emotional circuits were as active as those of mothers and the interpretive circuits showed the same extra activity as that of heterosexual fathers'.

More data showed that the more time a man spent as a primary caregiver, the stronger the connection between the emotional and cognitive structures of the brain. This was heightened in the gay parents.

Op-ed: My Two Dads

I am standing outside the steps of city hall in San Francisco. Jonathan on one side of me, and John on the other. It is August 13, 2009 and after 23 years of a domestic partnership, the state of California is finally recognizing my fathers's marriage. Other gay and lesbian couples are here too, celebrating what they only had dreamed possible. All I can wonder is how could any of these marriages possibly affect the detractors of gay marriage?

And why was I so embarrassed by my alternative family? Why did we have to be so different from the families that come with picture frames?

"That’s so gay."

"You’re so gay."

"Fucking faggot."

I was in sixth grade when these phrases became common among my classmates. I can still remember going out to recess to play “smear the queer.” As I run through the grass field at the back of my school, clutching the football in one hand and holding off oncoming tacklers with the other, I realize the goal of the game is to attack the gay person. I would always play because I love sports, but could never figure out why anyone would want to tackle a gay person.

I had been taught never to use these words by my parents because of the malice they represented. But did everyone else know why I didn’t conform to all my other classmates? Going to a Spanish immersion program for elementary school meant there were other diverse kids, either by their religion or race. Somehow that didn’t necessarily equate to a completely tolerant social life.

My dads met many years before I was born at a party in San Francisco. My biological father, John, lived in Davis and commuted to Sacramento while my other father Jonathan worked and lived in San Francisco. One of my dad’s favorite stories is the three of us walking past a television in the Castro district of San Francisco and me yelling, “Hey, that’s Mary Martin!” This flabbergasted the people around us who came up to my dads saying, “What have you done to this poor child?”

As part of their official royal tour of New Zealand, their royal highnesses the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge took time for a play date with a group of first time parents whose children are all around the same age as their son, Prince George.

The play date was put on by The Royal New Zealand Plunket Society (a.k.a. Plunket) which provides free parental support services to more than nine in ten babies. The 10 couples invited to the play date included a gay couple and their daughter Isabella. Jared Mullen, originally from Oregon, and husband Ryan Tunstall, originally from Australia, were chosen to “represent the growing numbers of same-sex couples in New Zealand who use Plunket’s parental support services,” as The Telegraph reports:

Tristine Clark, New Zealand president of Plunket, said: “The parents are a spread of all the communities in New Zealand, including Maoris, Samoans, people of Chinese descent and gay couples. This is a very multi-cultural country and we wanted the Duke and Duchess to meet people from all backgrounds.”

Mrs Clark said the Duke and Duchess did not specifically ask to meet a gay couple, leaving the choice of parents entirely down to Plunket.

Mullen and Tunstall spoke of their experience meeting the Cambridges shortly after the play date. From Wales Online: 

Mr Mullen said: "Isabella and George had a little play together, they were chums.

"In a way all we did was talk about babies.

"The Duke and Duchess were lovely, they were both very relaxed and we chatted about our experiences as first-time parents.

"He is a lovely little boy, very intrepid. The whole thing has been a huge privilege.

"It was lovely to meet the Duke and Duchess and share our beautiful children with them. They are both very lovely and loving parents."

79% of doctors support gay parenting in poll

I was online early the other morning, perusing a doctors-only Web site I frequent that tends to learn significantly to the right. Imagine my surprise when I found them surprisingly, and overwhelmingly, supportive of gay parenting.

I’ve written before about how some doctors’ groups and medical sites are becoming more liberal. I mentioned that the American Medical Association and the New England Journal of Medicine (an arm of the Massachusetts Medical Society) were supportive of universal health care (though they didn’t necessarily come out and say that they favored the Affordable Care Act (ACA, aka Obamacare)). I think my field is subtly shifting to the left.

On the medical site that I mentioned above, I’d guess that about 65% or so of the doctors there are conservative, or independent with a conservative bent. There are lots of threads on medical topics: diseases, medications, research and more. And this site has doctors from all specialties.

Often a medical topic gets presented — say, about type II diabetes, for example. We’ll be discussing treatment options, lab testing, genetics or other aspects of the disease. Often someone will post a political comment. Then the thread will get sidetracked with conservatives attacking the ACA, obese people who “don’t take responsibility for themselves,” food stamps (SNAP), Obama, Medicaid or some other political topic that may be tangentially related to diabetes.

A battle often ensues between liberals, conservatives and independents. Usually the conservatives are greater in number. Their tactics run similar to those they employ in the comments of AMERICAblog and other sites: ad hominem attacks, opinions not backed up with valid statistics, attempts to change the topic, and more. It’s amazing how a topic on something like bunions can become politicized. But it happens. I’d give you a link to the site so you could see for yourselves. but I can’t. First off, you need a valid medical license to register to get into the site. And, as a condition of membership, I can’t directly copy and paste or even give direct quotes from things presented there. But I’ll do my best to give you the gist of this one topic.

Gay parents, and their kids, outside the Supreme Court, and across from the US Congress, for the oral arguments on the gay rights cases involving DOMA and Proposition 8 in March, 2013. © John Aravosis 2013

One of the internal medicine doctors asked how other docs felt about same-sex couples raising children. Were they in favor of it or not? And he asked the same question in the form of a poll for the doctors to vote on. Without looking beyond the question, I figured that the responses would be about 70% in the negative. Much like they would be if someone asked a question on same-sex marriage, abortion, immigration or any of the other hot button issue that tends to elicit a negative reaction from conservatives.

Lesbian Parents Not Recognized As Married, Son Denied Social Security Benefits

Lisa and Melody Rawson of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina have an adopted son who suffers from multiple medical conditions, including spina bifida. When they were living in New York they received a monthly $600 social security check to cover the cost of his medical expenses. However, the New York winters were too harsh for him so this past September they moved to South Carolina, at which point they promptly stopped receiving any benefits at all.

The reason? South Carolina's state computer system won't allow Lisa and Melody to both be listed as his parents. As a result the paperwork cannot be processed, so their son's medical benefits are denied by default. The Rawsons have tried contacting Social Security, the Justice Department, and Congress but allege being given the runaround.

Russian Lawmaker Proposes Bill to Take Children Away from Gay Parents

Gay parents would lose custody of their children under the terms of a new bill proposed in Russia, the AP reports:

The draft bill, published on parliament’s website on Thursday, would make the “fact of nontraditional sexual orientation” a basis for denying custody. Other grounds include alcoholism, drug use, and abuse...Alexei Zhuravlev (pictured), the author of the bill, referred to the earlier law and said that homosexual “propaganda” had to be banned not only in the public space “but also in the family.”

A Russian report says that Zhuravlev's bill hopes to amend Article 69 (Termination of Parental Rights) of the Family Code with a measure that says that having gay parents can do "great harm" to a child's mind.

Said Zhuravlev: "The bill is for those whose families have broken up due to non-traditional contacts of one of the spouses, or parents who do not hide sexual relations with persons of the same sex." Zhuravlev went on to tell the paper that if a spouse suspects her husband is a practicing homosexual, "We have a court and the Investigative Committee..." 

Attorneys expressed skepticism, noting that it is difficult to prove certain relationships and the bill would be used speculatively and create many fraudulent and provocative custody lawsuits.

In the documents submitted with the bill, Zhuravlev referred to the flawed, misleading, and scientifically unsound report on gay parenting conducted by UT-Austin professor Mark Regnerus and sponsored by U.S. religious right-wing groups.

Yesterday, in an interview with the AP, Russian President Vladimir Putin denied the existence of anti-gay laws in Russia, and said athletes and activists would not be punished for expressing support for gay rights in Sochi.

Putin also claimed that Russia gives awards to gays:

"I assure you that I work with these people. I sometimes award them with state prizes or decorations for their achievements in various fields. We have absolutely normal relations, and I don't see anything out of the ordinary here. They say that Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky was a homosexual. Truth be told, we don't love him because of that, but he was a great musician, and we all love his music. So what?"

Alabama Judge Restores Lesbian Mother's Visitation Rights

The Southern Poverty Law Center called the ruling "a first in Alabama". The group has just finished representing Chelsea Hughes in Mobile County court. Hughes separated from her then-husband after following him to Mobile from Seattle, due to a military transfer. Once the couple separated, her ex-husband denied her access to her four children, due to the fact that she had chosen to be with a woman after the divorce. She subsequently enlisted the help of SPLC, and filed for visitation rights. Unfortunately, as was noted by the group, gay parents (who are just as, if not more, competent at raising families than straight parents) face an uphill battle when filing for visitation rights in Alabama:

"A circuit judge approved favorable visitation rights in a July 25 order. Although similar rulings may have occurred in Alabama where such orders are not widely published, this appears to be the first time an Alabama trial court has approved standard visitation rights for an avowedly lesbian or gay parent. Overnight restrictions – sometimes referred to as 'paramour' restrictions – especially burden same-sex parents who are still prohibited from marriage in Alabama."

Senior staff attorney Sam Wolfe hailed the ruling as a groundbreaking victory:

"This sets the right precedent for LGBT parents – and any unmarried parent in Alabama because LGBT people and unmarried parents have just as much right to their children as heterosexual couples...Parents should never have to choose between their children and an unmarried partner. LGBT parents have faced serious mistreatment in Alabama and it has got to stop."

Luckily, last week's ruling marks a step in the right direction.

Dan Savage Jokes With Bill Maher, ‘I’m Going To Keep Inseminating My Husband’ To Make A Baby

Dan Savage never fails to deliver — and always delivers on-point commentary that serves to hit his critics and opponents where it hurts them the most. Last night, on HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher,” Savage sat across the table from radical right-wing Republican anti-tax, anti-choice activist Grover Norquist and former GOP Congressman Connie Mack of Florida, and told Maher, “I’m always telling people who say two men can’t make a baby, ‘Anything is possible for God.’ I’m going to keep inseminating my husband and keep my fingers crossed.”

The commentary was funny, but its effect on Tea Party darling Grover Norquist — the often behind-the-scenes activist whose support of George W. Bush went a long way in sending him to and keeping him in the White House — was priceless. This was Norquist’s expression at the moment Savage made his comment, and a split-second later, smiling uncomfortably — or in disgust, perhaps?

But the real point Savage was on hand to make was that the Supreme Court’s rendering unconstitutional DOMA — the Defense of Marriage Act of 1996 that banned the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages — means he can stop living in fear that his death (as he said, possibly at the hands of those who hate him, or,) in, say, a plane crash, would leave his husband and partner of fifteen years, Terry, and their son without his social security survivor benefits, and the estate tax would render his family financially devastated.

The partial end of DOMA means the federal government now has to recognize his marriage as legal and valid. By the way, listen for Norquist’s curious decision to decide to talk about school choice in reference to the Trayvon Martin case. Strange. Enjoy this excellent segment from Maher’s show — the rest of which was not his best, with the exception of MSNBC’s Rula Jebreal, who was exceptional.

New Study Touts Importance Of Parental Harmony Over Sexual Orientation

In the wake of the DOMA and Prop 8 decisions, gay families are becoming an increasingly popular topic of conversation. Recently, the children of gay parents have become their biggest advocates, and now, research is cranking up as well. A new study is helping to reinforce the legitimacy of same-sex parenthood.

Think Progress reports:

The study, conducted by researchers at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and University of Virginia, compared gay couples, lesbian couples, and heterosexual couples who had all adopted a child within the first few weeks of life after they’d been parenting for three years. It did observe differences in terms of how the couples divided labor: heterosexual couples assumed more traditional divisions of labor, with mothers doing more parenting work than fathers, while same-sex couples were more likely to equally share childcare tasks. This distinction, however, did not have any impact on children’s behavioral problems.

Though the division of labor was more even for same-sex couples, the most important parental attribute is, well, getting along.

...it was the parents who were most satisfied with their arrangements with each other who had children with fewer behavior problems, such as acting out or showing aggressive behavior. It appears that while children are not affected by how parents divide childcare tasks, it definitely does matter how harmonious the parents’ relationships are with each other.

A study released last week similarly found that when parents were better prepared for their adoption and had less symptoms of depression, their children fared better. These two studies join the many others that have found that sexual orientation does not have an impact on outcomes for children. Instead, it seems, good parenting is just good parenting.

I Have Two Fathers