The Forsaken: A Rising Number of Homeless Gay Teens Are Being Cast Out by Religious Families

One late night at the end of her sophomore year of college, Jackie sat in her parked car and made a phone call that would forever change the course of her life. An attractive sorority girl with almond eyes and delicate dimples, she was the product of a charmed Boise, Idaho, upbringing: a father who worked in finance, a private­school education, a pool in the backyard, all the advantages that an upper-middle-class suburban childhood can provide – along with all the expectations attendant to that privilege.

"There was a standard to meet," Jackie says. "And I had met that standard my whole life. I was a straight-A student, the president of every club, I was in every sport. I remember my first day of college, my parents came with me to register for classes, and they sat down with my adviser and said, 'So, what's the best way to get her into law school?'"

Jackie just followed her parents' lead understanding implicitly that discipline and structure went hand in hand with her family's devout Catholic beliefs. She attended Mass three times a week, volunteered as an altar server and was the fourth generation of her family to attend her Catholic school; her grandfather had helped tile the cathedral. "My junior year of high school, my parents thought it was weird that I'd never had a boyfriend," she says, "so I knew I was supposed to get one. And I did. It was all just a rational thought process. None of it was emotionally involved."

After graduating, Jackie attended nearby University of Idaho, where she rushed a sorority at her parents' prompting. She chose a triple major of which they approved. "I remember walking out of the sorority house to go to Walmart or something, and I stopped at the door and thought to myself, 'Should I tell someone I'm leaving?'" she says. "It was the first time in my life where I could just go somewhere and be my own person."

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TWINS COME OUT AS GAY TO THEIR PARENTS AND RECORD IT ALL ON FILM

21-year-old fraternal twins Luke and Adam Monastero have known they were gay since age 4, but have just recently come out to each other and their friends.

Earlier this month, the twins decided to finally let their parents know about the secret they have been hiding for nearly two decades.

Watch their coming out moment below:

And here is how they came out to each other:

MOM WALKS IN ON NAKED SON AND HIS BOYFRIEND: THEN ...

Marc has an awesome Mom! The 19-year-old California boy, recently posted a picture of a note his mother slipped under his door after walking in on him and his boyfriend naked.

This is his description of the incident he posted on Tumblr:

my mom walked in on my boyfriend and I naked and then 5 minutes later she slipped this note under my door.

He posted this picture of the note:

The mom’s note reads: “I am pretty buzzed. It’s OK. – OK the smiley is too much. The Brownies are ready.“

He also posted the following picture with a caption that read: “My mom responded to the situation by buying me a door knob with a lock on it“:

The tumblr blog post has over 74,000 likes and reblogs, in just two weeks.

Way to go Mom, you rock!

Mother Calls Cops on Porn-Watching 15-Year-Old

It's every teen's worst nightmare: mom discovers your porn stash. Now imagine how much horrible it would be if the police got involved. 

The Smoking Gun reports that a pubescent nightmare scenario played out in South Carolina on August 5, when police were summoned by the mother of a 15-year-old boy because the teen had been watching porn on the living room television.

According to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Chavondar Gallman, 40, a real estate agent in Spartenburg, South Carolina returned home on August 5, with a client and her two-year-old daughter in tow. The three went into the living, where the two-year-old turned on the television to find that porn playing. They immediately turned the television off and took the toddler out of the room.

Gallman called 911 and gave a voluntary statement to police officers, saying she summoned police because "her son has been having behavior issues and that he will not listen, talk back, and steal." The report details that Gallman requested police documentation due to her young daughter being exposed to porn and to track her teenage son's behavior.

Watching porn is not illegal in South Carolina.

The police report failed to indicate what the son was doing in his room at the time of the call.

How I Went From Rejecting My Gay Son To Loving Him Unconditionally

At the beginning of his second year of college, my son Nick told me he was gay, and that he didn‘t believe same-sex relationships were sinful. I am embarrassed and ashamed to say that I reacted horribly. I made him feel ashamed, unloved, and rejected.

I said things a loving mother never should, and I will deeply regret it for the rest of my life.

You will probably be surprised to hear that today Nick and I have a wonderful relationship. How did it happen? Well, it is hard to tell that part of the story because it wasn’t linear. I can’t remember the order of all that happened but I will attempt to tell you some of the things that helped us move in the right direction.

One thing that helped the process along was that Nick continued to fight for the relationship. Even when he was angry and hurt, he always said he wanted a relationship with our family and me. He wasn’t always kind and loving—he made mistakes just like we all did, but he never gave up.

My turning point came to me one day as I was reading a blog comment written by a gay man to someone saying he didn’t want to be friends with people who thought it was sinful for him to have same-sex relationships, because he was tired of being treated like he was “less than other people” and "a second rate citizen"—it struck me then that if I were in his shoes, I would probably feel the same way.

I realized it took a lot of love and grace for Nick to want to keep having a relationship with me, knowing I was judging him.

Within a day or two, I found an opportunity to let Nick know I recognized how much grace and love he was showing me, and how much I appreciated it. I told him I was not only thankful, but I was, as his mom, proud of him.

Parents ask: Should we wait for our son to come out — or ask him ourselves if he’s gay?

Q: My husband and I have a tween son whom we can easily imagine, one day, telling us that he is gay. Or perhaps not; we don’t know his orientation yet, and either way is fine. We love him unconditionally and this is not an issue. My question is about how to handle that conversation if and when he chooses to start it. Or should we ask him? I don’t want to say the wrong thing, omit the right thing or suggest that something so important to him is not an issue for us. As a parent, what should we say and not say during this conversation? — Gina P.

A: Although you don’t know your son’s sexual orientation yet, I applaud your question about how to handle “the coming-out talk,” the goal of which is to make sure that he feels your love and support. Frankly, I wish every parent of every child thought along these same lines. Because the real question is: How do I raise a child who will know he’s loved, whether LGBT or straight, and who accepts all others regardless of their sexual identity?

I’m going to take a page from my own family’s playbook: Among my parents’ friends was a gay couple whom my folks regularly invited to dinner along with their straight friends. The unspoken lesson was simple: Gay people are like everyone else, and they had a seat at our table just like everyone else. That message was clear (and reassuring) to me as a young gay boy who was not yet out. It was also clear to my straight brother, who is an LGBT ally par excellence. My parents were serving their values to all of us along with Mom’s chicken cacciatore.

So, the best thing you could do for your son will take place before the talk, and that’s to be matter-of-fact about being gay. Watch “Modern Family” together and talk positively about the characters. When you hear that yet another state has legalized same-sex marriage , chat about it over dinner and celebrate the news. In fact, the supper table can help convey your attitudes and perspectives on world news in general, which will reinforce your values to your son. Follow my parents’ “open-table policy” and show your son that you are welcoming of all good people.

The First Thing My Mom Did When She Learned I Was Gay... and the 'Miracle' That Occurred After

Growing up as a gay kid in the south was not easy. The constant fear of people discovering who you really were and the inevitable shame that would fall upon you and your family dictated how you lived your life everyday. Luckily for me, I was fortunate enough to move to places where it wasn't a constant daily reminder that I was an abomination. For my family, however, they still live in ground zero of intolerance for the LGBT community and have the unique pressure of having a well known gay relative. When I came out, they came out. 

For years they have had to deal with the judgmental looks and constant condolences from friends and strangers as if I had died. "I'm so sorry, you are in our thoughts."

Now, my parents aren't very outspoken and shy away from any type of attention. For years they have quietly educated themselves about their son and the LGBT community like responsible adults. My mom read the Bible four times in a row and bought every book written about Christianity and the subject of homosexuality. When she saw things were not getting any easier at her church regarding this issue, she decided to go against her passive character and let her community know exactly how they were making her feel. 

In a very open and honest letter to the church, she suggested how true Christians should act towards the LGBT community. Her letter was so well received that another local church invited her to speak to their congregation, as it believed it was finally time to start a dialogue within the church. The following is the transcript from that speech. I am extremely proud of my family and especially my mother for the way she has handled herself in this confusing time in her life. To me, she represents a true Christian and what the majority of Christians believe today in the country.

Dad's Open Letter to Son on Marriage Equality Goes Viral

A straight father's open letter to his young son regarding last week's landmark Supreme Court rulings has gone viral, and it's easy to see why.

His four-year-old boy clearly has no concept of the Supreme Court or the significance of its decisions, as Brian Gresko of The Babble points out.

The bigger question is whether the SCOTUS striking down DOMA and dismissing Prop 8 will be seen as a watershed moment when he does get it.

It's a touching letter about what a father hopes will be a teachable moment someday, and emblematic of his desire for our children to inherit a better world.

Read what Gresko has to say below:

Dear Felix,

Your mom and I put off taking you for a blood test because, honestly, we figured you didn't really need it, that the doctor's concerns about the level of lead in your body were the routine kind of doctor's orders we could ignore.

Doc has since corrected us of that misconception, stressing the importance of the blood test. (And we wonder where your stubbornness comes from.) Ok, point taken. So, at least a year late, this morning we walked in to get your blood work done just as the waiting room television cut to the steps of the Supreme Court Building, where the announcement came that the Court had ruled 5-4 to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), declaring the law baring the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages unconstitutional.

You're four-years-old as I write this. You seem to react to adults who make good eye contact, speak with animation, get down to your level to talk to you, and ask you questions that you understand and then listen to your answers. You click with men, you click with women, and as far as I can remember you only asked once about why one of your best friends has two mommies. When I told you that couples come in all combinations - woman and woman, man and woman, man and man - you nodded and that was that. No big deal.

So sitting with you in the waiting room, I had one of those moments of double-ness that parents sometimes have, as I thought about the news and what it meant, watched the happy reactions from the crowd of marriage equality supporters, and wondered what celebration might be going on in other parts of New York City, all while talking with you about the upcoming blood test and reading you a story. I didn't explain what was happening on the television, and you didn't ask. I figured the time will come soon enough - probably too soon for my liking - when you'll be aware of the politics around sex and gender and sexual orientation.

Or maybe you won't. Hopefully, these issues will be moot in seven years time, or ten years, whenever you become aware of your sexual self (let's go with ten years, eh?) and begin to find other people compelling in ways that will, at first, probably seem strange or mysterious. (For example, I didn't notice girls had legs till eighth grade. Before then, I'm not sure how they got around, their mobility was no concern of mine. Suddenly, when springtime came and the skirts came out, their long, skinny, graceful limbs became vitally important. And yet I had no idea why. I just found them… fascinating. I knew they were key characters, I just hadn't figured out what the story was about yet.) Maybe you'll read about today's decision in a history book and it'll sound like a long time ago, the Dark Ages, when certain couples could marry and certain couples could not. You'll feel comfortable pursuing whatever kind of partnership interests you, no matter the person's gender, or color, or race, or class, or belief system, or whatever, and live in a country in which you can join in the legal state of matrimony with that lucky person.

I hope that by then American society will have a better understanding of what I saw all so plainly today. That if you prick our skin, the same red blood flows through all of our veins. These differences in appearance and behavior and belief in many ways are trivial, surface. How you treat other people, your stewardship of our planet and society and yourself as a functioning, contributing human on Earth, matters so much more than who you'd like to date, have sex with, or marry. As Kurt Vonnegut so succinctly put it, "You've got to be kind."

Other than that? Have fun, kid. And while this marriage thing sure ain't easy - in fact, I don't wish it on anyone who doesn't feel ready, 100% sure they want to make their commitment into a socially recognized, legal bond - I'm happy knowing that if, one day, you think you're ready to take the plunge, you can do it with whomever the hell you want. And I'll be right there (unless you decide to elope like your mom and me decided, which is totally cool too), cheering you on and wishing you well, no matter whose hand you're holding when you say "I do."

Love ya kid,

Dad.

Vintage SNL: Homocil

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

It's hard to believe that nearly two decades have passed since I came out to you as a gay man.  I didn't foresee that you would react by severing all communication between us.  So much has happened since that day, and sadly, you haven't been around to see it.

You've missed the "Worst of Times," when I really needed you.  I called from the hospital room after my partner passed away in 1996 and asked you to come to the funeral.  You said "Sorry, I'm not able."

But you've also missed the "Best of Times," when I simply wanted you.   Two years after Michael's death, I fell in love with Gary - a wonderful deaf man who is a gifted teacher.  I learned American Sign Language and together we adopted three kids.

Niko is sixteen, takes his studies quite seriously, and consistently makes the honor roll.  Last year he was doing math calculations that would make your head spin.  This fall, he wants to play high school football and he is almost as passionate about that sport as you are.  Name a team and, like you, he will probably be able to tell you who plays each position in the starting line-up.

Trei is ten and has a great sense of humor with an unrelenting silly streak.  He shares your interest in American history and recently studied Abraham Lincoln at school.  Yesterday, he won first place in his freestyle heat at the swim meet.  You should have seen his face glow with pride when he was handed the blue ribbon.

Jolé is nine and is clearly the little princess in our home. She is into fashion and thinks she might want to be a vet when she grows up.  I spent much of the last year taking her to museums for an ongoing class project.  We saw an exhibit on Pearl Harbor and my memory flashed to your stories about listening as granddad recalled the day the Japanese attacked.

As a father myself, I can't help but think about what a tremendous loss it is that you don't know Niko, Trei, and Jolé.  They would embrace you instantly.

The irony is that your inability to love me for who I am is part of the reason that I am able to love my family for exactly who they are.  I know how painful it is to be rejected just for being different.  So in my home, we cherish the differences.  Deaf or hearing, Chinese or Hispanic, gay or straight - doesn't really matter.  From our perspective, it's all just one big blessing and we give thanks for it everyday.
I grieved your loss many years ago, and then moved on.  But I guess a part of me will always hope for a miracle - that someday, somehow, we will reconnect as father and son.  No matter what happens, know that I still love you and I always will.

Happy Father's Day Dad.

-Jeff

Matthew Shepard's Mom Moved to Tears By Jason Collins' Gesture

Jason Collins became the first active NBA player to come out, and the Shepards say his example will be a model to young people.

BY Lucas Grindley

May 01 2013 12:13 PM ET

Among the touching details that Jason Collins revealed when coming out in that Sports Illustrated op-ed was the revelation that his number, 98, is actually a tribute to Matthew Shepard. And when she heard that, Shepard's mom said it moved her to tears.

"To hear the story behind his number, well, I cried," said Judy Shepard during an interview with Headline News. "I thought it was such a tribute to Matt, to Matt's story, and to so many other yon people who are struggling. His own silent, private tribute, I was very moved."

Matthew Shepard is the gay college student who was murdered in Wyoming in an infamous hate crime in 1998. During President Obama's first term, a federal hate crimes law was passed that bears his name.

Collins is the first active NBA player to come out, and he had worn a jersey number in honor of Shepard without ever explaining why.

"When I put on my jersey I was making a statement to myself, my family and my friends," Collins wrote in the op-ed.

In the video below, watch the entire interview with the Shepards during which they talk about Collins' impact on young people.