THE SECRET TO PAIN-FREE BOTTOMING

Things are heating up. His cock is entering your hole and it’s uncomfortable. Then he tells you to relax.

How many times have you heard that from your partner? Hell, how many times have you said it to yourself?

Telling someone to relax increases anxiety and tension because you feel like a failure for not being able to relax! Tension is the main source of pain when it comes to bottoming. When an object is inserted into a tense, clenched set of muscles and tissue, it will tear and bruise the area.

He can start by eating your ass for 15 minutes, but how do pornstars do it every time? We had the same question.

So we sent a team of researchers to interview guys in the porn industry to see what they had to say. Cameramen, scouts, producers, directors and performers. The result were fascinating. We got a behind-the-scenes look into the secrets of the porn industry. Including how to get performers to bottom without pain or messy scenes.

We took what we learned and we developed the Sexhalation Method.

The Sexhalation Method (let’s shorten it to “Sexhalation”) is a new approach to sexual insertion. I developed it with a team made up of a yoga guru, a psychologist specializing in respiratory psychophysiology, and colorectal specialists.

Each expert contributed their fact-filled, field-tested views on relaxation theory, sexual response, anatomy, pleasure centers and pain points. Then we put it all together to create a step-by-step system that all but guarantees a smooth bottoming experience.

“RELAX! RELAX!”

But how?

Think nice thoughts?

No one needs to tell you to relax. You know that. The puborectal region and internal sphincter do not respond to conscious attempts at relaxation. What you need is a disciplined approach that shows you how to relax muscles that won’t listen to you.

The full Sexhalation Method is quite detailed for one blog post. So I’ll show you a modified version below that you can also use to massage your prostate.

The modified version is below.

If you want to read the full Sexhalation Method, check out my book How to Bottom Like a Pornstar.

Step 1: Gently Press Your Middle Finger Against Your Anus.

Lay on your back. Spread your legs. Press your lubed-up middle finger against the anal opening.


You can use the index finger if you prefer, but the middle finger gives you more reach.

Make sure your hand is in the palm up position (palm pointed to the ceiling).

Remember, press, don’t insert.

Step 2: Inhale To A Count Of Four And Squeeze Your Sphincter Shut.

Step 3: Exhale To A Count Of Six And Release The Sphincter.

Step 4: Repeat Until You Draw In Your Entire Finger.

Step 5: Gently Probe The Anal Wall Upwards Towards Your Navel.

The prostate is behind the anal wall in the direction of your belly button (two to four inches from the sphincter). Be careful! The prostate is sensitive. Do not poke and prod. Caress and stroke. Press gently.

Use feather-light touches. You’re looking for a walnut-sized fleshy ball hiding behind the anal wall.

Finding it is a little like playing hide-and-seek, only you’re using your finger rather than your eyes.

Step 6: Find And Trace The Contours Of The Prostate.

Once you locate it, trace your finger around the gland. Take a tour.

Notice where it is. Make a mental note of how far in (and up) you had to go so that you can use this memory as a GPS for the next hide-and-seek adventure.

Ask yourself how stroking your prostate feels. Good, bad? Pleasurable? Ambivalent? Don’t judge; notice. Can’t find your prostate or not sure if you have? The easiest way to find your prostate is to make sure you’re sexually aroused.

Your penis isn’t the only thing that gets full and erect when you get excited—so does the prostate. So much so that it bulges into the anal wall, making it very easy to find.

During arousal the prostate fills with semen fluid. The closer you get to orgasm the firmer the prostate becomes and the easier it is to find and stroke.

You can also try different positions.

For example, some guys have better luck laying on their left side and putting their right hand behind their back while bending the knee of the top leg. If you still can’t find your prostate it could be that your fingers aren’t long enough.

The prostate lies two to four inches into your rectum (towards your belly button). If your prostate is positioned higher than average and/or your fingers are shorter than average it can get a little tricky. Try a commercial prostate massager like A&E L’arque Prostate Massager which is 50% off with free shipping if you use code GRIND. It’s shaped to match the form of the anus.

Step 7: Massage The Prostate.

You need to exert firm pressure without pushing too hard. Firm but comfortable is your goal. Start at the top of the prostate and push down toward the center. Then go back up. Then start at the bottom and push upwards toward the center. Experiment with different directions to get different sensations.

There’s no right or wrong way to find out what you like. Be curious and try anything as long as you do it with care. The prostate actually has two lobes. If you can detect each lobe you can take turns massaging them. Don’t be surprised if a couple of drops of fluid come out of your penis, even if it’s not erect. This is what many doctors do to “milk” the prostate and relieve pressure in patients with enlarged prostates.

Step 8: Massage The Prostate While You Masturbate.

You may or may not have had an erection while exploring the prostate. It’s now time to get one. Massage the prostate as you masturbate to climax. It is quite eye opening to feel your prostate enlarge as you’re about to orgasm. You can also feel the entire rectum—sphincters and all—contracting as you ejaculate.

If you want to massage your prostate but don’t want to go through the “hand yoga” contortions, then try using a commercial prostate massager.

You can also try a more indirect route to stimulating your prostate. Find the pressure point on the perineum directly below the prostate.

Do this: Put your index and middle fingers together and press the fingertips on the area between your anus and the scrotum.

Southerners call this area, “The Tain’t” because it “tain’t your ass and it tain’t your balls.”

Start at the boundary of your sphincter and gently press up. Move an 1/8 of an inch toward your scrotum and press up. Keep going and you will find the sweet spot—generally, it’s the most sensitive spot in a most sensitive area. Try different pressures and find the touch that you like best.

Interesting tip:

You can wring the last bit of semen out of your ejaculation by doing the following. Right after you ejaculate press between your ass and your balls and glide toward your balls. As you reach the scrotum, grab the base of your cock and squeeze all the way up.

You are squeezing the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.

You’ll see extra semen come out that you didn’t know you had in you.

If you’re a “dripper” after you ejaculate this will completely end it.

What is good for you?

Some guys find prostate stimulation pleasurable while other guys find it annoying. Some men only like it after a certain point of sexual arousal.

While others like it at any time.

Still others don’t care for it at all. Individuals vary. What causes ecstasy for some causes boredom in others. It doesn’t matter whether you like prostate stimulation or not. What matters is that you experience the process. It is quite astounding to feel your prostate thicken and grow inside the anal wall as you get closer to orgasm.

Time to play with toys.

There is no substitute for a hard penis but there is a surrogate.

Gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to an unappreciated and under-used object that is instrumental to pain-free bottoming: The dildo.

But not just any dildo. A dildo with detailed specifications.

You need to buy one that…

Has a tapered body with a smaller head and fatter base.

It should also have a flanged base. It’s the collar at the base that prevents the dildo from getting stuck up your ass without a way of getting it out. Trust me, there’s nothing fabulous about a trip to the ER. The lighting is bad, the outfits are ugly, and they have no concept of a VIP line.

You can also slowly build up your insertion tolerance with this 3 level kit or simply add variety to your backdoor pleasure regimen. All are solid black and made from soft but sturdy rubber.