My day starts off just like many people. I wake up pitching tents with my #morningwood. My cell phone is on the charger volt the bed with me because the last thing I did was probably checked my Jack’d or Tinder messages the night before. I’m on my back and roll to my side, my dick is throbbing so I do what every red-blooded man does: scroll through Tumblr.
A few heart-taps and re-blogs, maybe even watch a clip that was just a little too long to get me where I need to go—on to Vine. After enough stimulation (and probably a #tunasub), I get up, head to the bathroom to really get my day started, sort of. In the restroom, I put on my favorite music, hop in the shower and give myself a steamy concert to whatever artist is on the playlist. This particular morning, I jammed out to Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda, twerking as much as possible in the shower without falling over and the words really struck me.
Ms. Minaj (showing respect where respect is due) has become the patron saint of rimmers and rimmees alike. She has boldly come out as a woman who enjoys the comforts of a man between her ass cheeks—moist tongue, supple lips and booty all mixing together in perfect harmony. She has given space, through her lusts, for a conversation many of us have neglected to have, even among the veteran ass-eating community.
Ass is the uncharted frontier. Many have spread it open. Several have plunged to its depths. Others have explored its vast and far reaching walls. But still many have not fully come to comprehend it’s wonders. The obstacle many of us fall into when figuring out a particular ass is we neglect to tell those seeking to explore us exactly how to treat our golden, chocolate, caramel, or cream-colored hills. That could be an attribute of not truly understanding our asses. We’ll gladly say fuck it, suck it, or eat it, but we rarely go the extra step of informing our partner on how to do those things. We leave them to their own devices and cross our fingers hoping he (or they) knows what he (or they) is doing.
I was blessed, once upon a time, with a partner who knew his ass so well that he told me, very clearly and explicitly, how he wanted it to be eaten. It wasn’t an instruction manual, per-say, but he definitely gave quick guidance to get him where he needed to go. He asked me to rim him in ways that I had never tried or even thought of, but his command of our bedroom activity turned me on more than any sex could have. He fucked me, mentally; now I blog.
Go the distance
Before you contemplate a technique, always remember eat it until the ass is juiced, then eat it some more. You always want your works space to be soft and supple. The tighter the boo-gina, the longer you’ll have to churn. The upside about eating it is that it will pay off dividends when it comes to fucking.
The kiss
Why is it that ass, and even pussy, is most often compared to either food or a mouth? Cakes, lil debbies, bunts, pound, red velvet, cream filling, frosting are all analogies many have used for ass, while the actual asshole is usually referred to as lips that pucker. Notwithstanding, if we’re going to call it lips, it demands to be kissed.
This kiss method is the process of kissing the ass. It involves a deep tongue dive followed immediately by a smooch. It doesn’t count unless it makes the “smooch” sound. Or you can try kissing the sides of the cakes between eating. The skin around the ass is actually as sensitive, to some, as the ass hole itself. Eating doesn’t have to be such a linear experience, detour on the cakes, take a rest stop on the crack, or take that left turn at those dimples where the ass meets the back muscles. Paint your whole workspace with your tongue and wait for the moans—they will inevitably cum.
The chewer
Teeth have few places in the bedroom: nipples (maybe), nibbles during kisses (try it and see), ass eating (huh?) Try this. There is a time in the juicing process when the ass is supple and it puckers. You, the eater, have massaged the anal muscles until not only is it soft, but it winks at you. Once the ass is winking, try sucking the booty hole until you can cup it gently between your teeth and chew. Don’t close your teeth completely, just massage the upper and lower of the anus with your teeth as your sucking with your mouth. The pressure offers the person getting eaten a sensation much like when your dick reaches the back of a deep throat.
The blower
When eating ass, warm and cool sensations are especially welcomed. Not be confused with warming or cooling lubes, the natural warming and cooling of the mouth does just fine. When eating, take a break and blow on the ass, then eat, then blow again. The cool air mixed with your warm tongue make for a longer-lasting, intense sensation.
The tongue fuck
A tongue offers an ass the same feelings of raw sex without many of the risks and pain/pleasure combination. When you tongue fuck, its like sticking a perfectly shaped member into an ass that is just big enough to feel magnificent, but not nearly long enough to have to do the “go slow” dance. It’s all the pleasures of a well-lubed dick without many of the pains and considerations.
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