For the past couple of months, I have been answering some questions for The Parents Project, an organization that lets parents of LGBT kids ask questions and get answers. It's a great idea, and I feel honored that they think I might have something wise and helpful to say. A little while ago I was given this question:
My daughter recently told me that she is bisexual, but she hasn't told her father. She is concerned that he will have a poor response, and to be totally honest I am also concerned. I don't want to keep this from him, and I certainly don't want her to have to keep it a secret in our home, but I am not at all sure how to handle the situation. Do you have any advice?I thought about this question for a few days, but in the end I gave up. Every response I could think of wasn't the least bit wise or helpful -- things like:
"Why did you marry this man with whom you do not share core beliefs?"
"Why did you marry a man you knew might not love and support your children?"
"Why haven't you divorced this guy already?"
See? Not helpful. And it's because I cannot fathom being married to and choosing to procreate with someone I know might not love my children. That's just ridiculous. Why would anyone do that?
Before, I have likened being gay to being left-handed. Anyone can have a left-handed kid. It's something that is different from the majority of people, but it doesn't make it wrong. It doesn't have anything do with what kind of person someone is. It's just an another attribute that makes up who they are. Once upon a time, people thought being left-handed was an awful, horrible thing to be. Kids were punished for being left-handed and were often swatted by nuns, if the stories my father tells are true. But these days nobody cares. We got over our collective selves and let the left-handers be.
