Seven Tips For Online Cruising That Could Mean The Difference Between Life And Death

The internet is a scary place — that’s a scientific fact. Too often we’ve reported on online hookups that go from hot to hellish, and they have even resulted in death. And while these extremes are rare, there are a number of other bad outcomes that can and do happen when people decide to have a quick tryst from a website or app.

The safest thing to do is just avoid it altogether, but it seems clear that semi-anonymous hook-ups aren’t disappearing any time too soon. So with that in mind, here are six tips for staying safe and sane when you get the urge for digital cruising:

1. Shed the shame

The number one problem when it comes to hooking up online is the shame factor. All too often guys compartmentalize their lives so that acting out on lust and desire is relegated to that “dirty little secret” part of the self. Just look at how many “headless torso” profiles are out there. Try putting your best face forward. We are who we are, and sexual desire is a part of being human. When you’re out in the open, you’ll tend to make better decisions that more accurately reflect the whole you, and in turn put yourself in safer situations.

2. Communicate

This can be tough. Spontaneity can be very sexy, and being asked “so what are you into?” can be a bit of a drag. But look at the situation objectively — you’re about to meet someone you don’t know and get very intimate very quickly. You’ll do yourself a favor by opening up lines of communication. “I only play safe.” “I’m positive.” “Do you have any toys?” “When were you last tested?” These are all entirely appropriate questions during the chatting stage, and how the other person reacts to honest talk may speak volumes about whether you actually want to meet in the flesh.

3. Try the truth(ish)

There is nothing worse than showing up for a hookup and having to do a double-take when the guy who answers the door looks absolutely nothing like his photos. Look, anyone who’s playing the field online is going to engage in some amount of deception. We try to present the best possible image of ourselves, it only makes sense. But be reasonable. A photo from eleven months ago when you were ten pounds lighter? Go for it. Saying you’re 29 when you’re 31? Unnecessary, but hey we aren’t going to judge. Using a photo taken during the last millennium? Please.

4. Meet in public

Not enough guys actually do this one, and we get that it’s a bit harder when it’s 2 a.m. (which isn’t a great idea to begin with), but meeting in public will do more than just give you an “out” if you need one. When you meet in public, it’ll feel very “real.” And that’s a good thing, because it is real.

5. Talk first

A 10-minute conversation will tell you so much about a person, and you owe it to yourself to make sure that you aren’t dealing with someone crazy. It doesn’t have to be a deep conversation, but just by chatting a bit you’ll pick up on body language, chemistry and overall sanity. Your pants can wait a few minutes to come off.

6. Don’t be afraid to bail

If something feels wrong, trust your instincts. Let your analytical mind be louder than your horniness. Bailing can be super awkward (less so if you meet in public), but there is absolutely no need to feel obligated when negotiating hooking up. The sex may be casual, but the decision to have it certainly isn’t. A simple, “I’m sorry, but I need to leave” will do. You don’t owe this person anything.

7. Stock up

This is so easy. Just bring condoms with you, and never rely on the other person to supply them. When things escalate and you realize they don’t have any on hand, you won’t ever have to have that “should I or shouldn’t I?” moment.

Miss Coco Peru Explains The Birds And The Bees To Gay Son

Do you know the Five Golden Rules to a joyful, good f*ck

If not, Miss Coco Peru is here to share them with you and her gay son in a video collaboration from WeHoLife, the Los Angeles LGBT Center and the City of West Hollywood!

CALIFORNIA: Assembly Approves Bill Mandating Condom Use In Porn Shoots

Porn performers in California must wear condoms during film shoots and their employers must provide regular testing under a bill that passed the state Assembly on Tuesday. The bill, AB1576 by Assemblyman Isadore Hall, D-Compton, advanced to the Senate on a 41-12 vote, the minimum number of votes needed. The bill follows a similar mandate in Los Angeles County, approved by voters in 2012. Hall said his bill is a workplace-safety measure to curb the spread of sexually transmitted diseases, citing recent industry-imposed moratoriums on adult film shoots after actors were diagnosed. The AIDS Healthcare Foundation, a sponsor of the bill, says it would pursue film producers who leave California, with a much-debated argument that porn shoots are technically illegal in most states. Last fall, the group filed a complaint about an adult film made in Florida, where California porn makers outsourced unprotected sex scenes.

Porn performers largely oppose the bill, saying its provisions violate their medical privacy.

CDC Releases New Guidelines For PrEP

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have issued a new set of guidelines for the use of PrEP as an HIV preventative after having determined that PrEP is an effective method of HIV prevention. Said Jonathan Mermin, M.D., M.P.H., director of CDC’s National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD, and TB Prevention,

While a vaccine or cure may one day end the HIV epidemic, PrEP is a powerful tool that has the potential to alter the course of the U.S. HIV epidemic today. These guidelines represent an important step toward fully realizing the promise of PrEP. We should add to this momentum, working to ensure that PrEP is used by the right people, in the right way, in the right circumstances.

The guidelines acknowledge that PrEP is an additional strategy to be used for HIV prevention, and while over 90% effective at reducing HIV transmission on its own, it is most effective when used in combination with condoms and other risk-reduction practices.

HIV AWARENESS, PREVENTION, AND PREJUDICE: WHAT TOPS AND BOTTOMS NEED TO KNOW

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Is safe-sex necessary in an age of undetectable HIV viral loads? Yes.

I’ve heard people with HIV, who have undetectable viral loads, ask whether they still have to practice safer sex.

At first glance, the logical answer would seem to be “No.” No virus present, so no chance of infecting someone else, right? So why wear a condom?

But let’s think about that a little.

In 2008, the Swiss Federal Commission for HIV/AIDS stated that “after review of the medical literature and extensive discussion, [we] resolve that an HIV-infected person on antiretroviral therapy with completely suppressed viremia (“effective ART”) is not sexually infectious, i.e., cannot transmit HIV through sexual contact.”

Their conclusion was based on just a few research studies in heterosexual couples. Each study following about 400 couples for about two years. These studies were conducted in Europe and Africa. In most circumstances, the male partner was HIV positive and the female was HIV negative. The studies mention that the couples engaged in vaginal intercourse. No mention was made of whether the couples had anal intercourse. These couples did not practice safer sex. The HIV positive partner was on antiretroviral medications and had reached an undetectable viral load level. In these studies, the HIV negative partner remained HIV negative.

Note that these are relatively small studies in which the couples were followed for a short time. The Swiss physicians generalized from these results that safer-sex doesn’t seem to be necessary in adequately-treated HIV positive patients.